Raspberry Pi's, Android, and the(mis)hape of things to come...

In my last article, I explained my view on why we need to constantly upgrade our computers.  One vital thing was missing from that view however, and that was the effect of "Backwards Compatibility" on the evolution of computing.  To explain further, we have to go back in time, so let's fire up the old TARDIS and take a look-see (vworrrp, vworrrp, vworrrp...)

In the Eighties, the world (in computing terms) was split into mainframes (think cupboard computers), minis (sideboard computers), and Micros (desktop computers).  Micros were regarded mostly as toys, so the main development was in the larger platforms, but home users started to get in on the act, and in the early eighties, 8bit machines like the BBC Micro / Sinclair ZX81 were the norm.  By the mid Eighties, things had changed significantly, with the arrival of two things - the first was the IBM PC, an 16Bit personal computer (limited by an 8bit bus), designed for business by the biggest  mainframe designer in the business - IBM  The IBM PC started off life as nothing more than a "dumb terminal" to connect to IBM mainframes, but soon, companies realised that this machine could be more productive, and not long after it's inception, software began to appear for it - business software, that would eventually lead to a revolution amongst computing, and eventually give us the most powerful Monopoly next to Disney - yup, you guessed it, it's Microsoft...  As time progressed, the Intel 8086 processor used as the PCs "brain" had extra bits bolted on to give more power (and which changed its name, so 80286, 80386, 80486, Pentium etc...), whilst still keeping the ability to run software designed for the older parts - this backwards compatibility became the Intel/Microsoft Windows biggest selling point...

The second event of the Eighties was much more significant - the development of the 16bit processor with a 32bit bus.  The PC ran a chip by a company called Intel, but other manufacturers were developing much more powerful chips, that were far easier to program than the stupid Intel 8086.  Motorola gave us the 68000 range of chips, the power of which can be seen if you compare the IBM PC with the home computers of the time - the Atari ST, Commodore Amiga & Apple Macintosh, all of which were far superior, and could graphically out-perform a PC easily.  A war ensued in the late Eighties / early Nineties, between machines based on the far superior Motorola chips, and the Intel based computers...

As we move forward, the outcome of that war is evident - the Intel/Microsoft became dominant across the world, as did the 8086 and it's subsequent progeny, all the way up to the Intel Dual Core/Quad Core processors used today.  The only survivor of the Motorola camp was Apple, which continued to use Motorola based processors until recently, when (for cost reasons), they switched to the same Intel processors.

Why did Intel/Microsoft win the war?  It certainly wasn't through technical superiority - the Motorola chips were much more powerful, and easier to program than the Intels.  No, the outcome of the war was due to the fact that for the first time in history, the SOFTWARE / USER combination was the driving force.  In the beginning, the two camps were split by usage - the Intel camp was purely business based, the Motorola camp was mostly home based, with some business use (mainly in areas that required advanced graphic capabilities).  At first, business users didn't need the kind of graphical power - no, what they wanted was a number cruncher / word processor that could store it's information.  The IBM PC had a neat trick up it's sleeve - some of it's parts were modular, which meant that you could upgrade it easily.  Need some better expansion ports?  Add a card!  Need a better graphical display?  Change the graphics card!  Need more storage?  Change the hard disk!  This expansion capability led to something else - other manufacturers could use the same parts to create their own version of a IBM PC!  Manufacturers like COMPAQ & Packard Bell were soon making the first IBM PC "Clones", which ran the same operating system (DOS), run the same programs, and even use the same expansion boards!  Business users kept pushing the envelope of what was possible, and what was wanted.  Many more clones appeared...

Over at the technically superior Motorola camp, there was no equivalent business push.  Lots of innovation & technical wizardry (which would eventually be picked up by the business market, but implemented at a business level on Intel based PCs).  Many of the Motorola Camp computers of the time were staggeringly good, but the business market looked at what it already had (many more Intel based PCs around, and many more en route) and market forces went the "PC" way.  The Intel/Microsoft camp's ability to be expandable, combined with it's software "backwards compatibility", triumphed over a technologically superior force... 

As we materialise back into the present, we realise that ALL PC's (including Macs) are now using chips based on the original Intel 8086 design, albeit a design that has been significantly added to, with new capabilities bolted on nearly every day.  A design that is acknowledged as being "difficult to program", compared to most other chip archetectures.  In summary then, the majority of us are using computers based on a chip design that has thrown nothing away, is bloated, inefficient, and difficult to program...

It boggles the mind!

(by the way, If you want to see how inefficient your own computer is, I suggest you take a look at the Raspberry Pi, a credit card sized computer, that can do the same things a PC can, and do it cheaper. )

However, things may well soon change.  Recently, the same software/user combination that created the PC dominated world we live in, has started to evolve itself.  No longer is the business market the driving force, instead, the individual user market is starting to take hold.  New single user devices, such as smart phones, music players & tablets, are coming to the fore like never before, and unlike the PC, these devices are not reliant on old chip technology - instead, they use a new breed of modern CPUs that are cheaper to manufacture, as well as being powerful.  Software is slowly moving away from the monlithic ideas of the past, and is slowly morphing into the "app" model - cheap, powerful programs, that are just a click away.  Where the computer was once the focus, now it is the user who is the focal point.  People argue still argue over which is better - PC or Mac, but that war is over - another war is on it's way, the war between Apple's IOS and Android, and who will win this one? n The technically superior Apple line, or the more adaptible Android camp?  I know who my money's on...

BRAAIIINNSSSS!

You've made the decision - it's time for a new computer.  Off you toddle to PC World, with your hard earned readies in your sweaty little mitts.  You walk in the door, walk straight over to the computers... 
...
...
"MY GOD - I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANY OF THIS GARBAGE!  DAMN YOU!  DAMN YOU ALL TO HELLLLLL!"
... and sink slowly to your knees, weeping for your lost innocence....


Have no fear!  It's honestly not all that bad, and I'm here to help you.  When buying a computer, the three most important things are processor, memory and disk space.  As I've dealt with the last two subjects before, I think it's time we looked at the biggy - Central Processor Units (CPU's, or processors) - the brain of the computer.  So, without further ado, here we go...

Intel & AMD are the main manufacturers of computer processors (known as CPU's) used in home/business computers (note: for the sake of this thread, I'm ignoring Apple - no offence iFans...)

Intel produces several ranges of CPU - in descending order of computing power (and age) we have...

i7 - most powerful and newest (up to 6 cores)
i5 (up to 4 cores)
i3 (2 cores)
Pentium (1-2 cores)
Celeron - least powerful and oldest. (1 core)

AMD have their own chip range....

FX - most powerful and newest
A-series
Phenom II
Athlon II
Sempron II - least powerful and oldest.

Cores: In computing terms, a "core" is one logical processor. Years ago (back in the 90's) all CPU's had one single core. As technology has progressed, the CPU designs have evolved and many now contain more than one logical processor in their physical CPU chip (For example, i7 CPU's can have 4 logical processors) - the advantage of this is "hyper threading" - that is, having the computer run more than one task simultaneously, with no performance hit (older CPU's can't do this).

Quad Core: A CPU with 4 logical processors
Dual Core: A CPU with 2 logical processors

The more logical processors, the better your computer can "potentially" multitask - this depends ENTIRELY on the operating system installed (Windows 7 for example)...

This, combined with the move to 64bit processing, means that computers these days are incredibly powerful beasts compared to 10 years ago...

For buyers, here are the following recommendations....

1. Buy an Intel based chip. There's nothing wrong with AMD chips (I've used lots of them in the past, and they're great), but Microsoft work hand-in-glove with Intel, which means that Windows will not only be better supported, but will run better too..

2. Buy the best processor you can afford - i.e If you have the choice between I3 and I5, choose I5 - you can always upgrade memory / disk space later...

Abuse of power - why Windows Security Fails...

Windows has one very nasty habit, that it has kept since the first days of it's creation. It's a habit so deadly, that Windows has never really been able to ditch it (despite several attempts), and rather like a junkie always needing one last desperate fix, Windows defends it's use, and will continue to use it, until the bitter end... I am of course, referring to default administrative rights.

Back in the old days of DOS (that's the operating system before windows - some of us over 40's are quite fond of it), networks existed only in business, and one user / one computer was the norm. In those days, the ideas of multiple users was more for large scale computing, such as big business or Universities. From these hot-beds came the idea of networks, multiple users on one machine, and user rights. In short, a human needed a user account to use a computer, and that account needed access rights to use files/printers/resources - all this, controlled by an Administrator: the one person deemed trustworthy enough to organize these resources on the User's behalf.

Microsoft had already created Windows - not as an Operating System at first, but as a Window Manager - that is, a nice, graphical way to view your files, edit notes etc. Windows was not the first, but it became the most popular, and in the way that popular things do, it created demand. There was now a demand for Windows to have network access to files, printers and resources, but Windows was a single user environment.

Enter "Windows for Workgroups" - Microsoft's answer to the network problem. Windows could now access network files, share network resources, and assign user rights - right? Wrong - Windows could assign network rights to other people / computers, but it was still a single user environment, and that user had FULL Administrator access to the computer. Microsoft got it right with Windows NT however - a version of Windows DESIGNED to be a computer server. It had users, printers, rights... but the USER computers that used it's resources were still running WFW - single user, full Administrative access to their own machine. The users HAD to have Administrative access to install printers, device drivers, anything that was actually useful. This problem would continue for a VERY long time...

In 1995, Microsoft tried again, and released Windows 95. 95 was Windows For WorkGroups with a new front end, as well as some improvements to the back end engine, but it was still essentially the same Windows / DOS combination that WFW was, and it shared the same single user philosophy. Yes, you could have separate user profiles, but each user was still "the Administrator". We also now had "Windows Update" - Microsoft could keep your computers up-t0-date for you, but they could only do it if the user had full access to the machine...

Then came Windows NT4, and NT4 Workstation. These were version of Windows designed for full network use, and actually had true user accounts practice. Now, only the Administrator could make system changes to the machine, and everyone else could be user's of lesser power... except that user's expected to be able to do things the way they were used to. People now had PC's running windows at home, and the "single user" experience was what they were used to. The user's also had to keep the machine up to date with the latest patches, to stop the growing virus threat, so the average user STILL had to have administrative access. Savvy network admins locked down the machines as best they could, but those who didn't know better still allowed the standard user's full Administrator access - is it any wonder that Windows is responsible for more viruses spreading than any other operating system?

In 98, we had Windows 98, and then Windows ME, and once again, Microsoft dropped the ball, allowing the Single User ethos to continue. 2000 brought Windows 2000 / Server 2000 and for the first time, Windows on both Client AND desktop had the notion of access rights. This should have been the turning point for Microsoft - their poor record of virus spreading and compromised security should have stopped here... but it didn't. In fact, it spread like wildfire. By default, new users in the client environment were MADE administrators!!! This madness carried on, and by the time of Windows XP, was commonplace.

Windows Vista tried to do something about it, by alerting the user when administrative access was required - but all the user had to do was click a button and say "ALLOW". Give a user a button that says "ALLOW", and they'll always press it...

Windows 7 went one step in the right direction, by getting rid of the Administrator account - but not before granting the first user set up FULL ADMINISTRATOR ACCESS...

In the UNIX/Linux world, we have the ROOT account. You can do anything with the root account, but it is never used as the primary account for users. This is the primary reason why UNIX/Linux computers are inherently safer than Windows ones.

Below are two links that you may find useful at some point - the first tell you ways you can manually remove spy ware from your computer (always useful knowledge), the second, explains why running as the Administrator is such a bad idea...



http://www.codinghorror.com/blog/2007/06/how-to-clean-up-a-windows-spyware-infestation.html

http://www.codinghorror.com/blog/2007/06/the-windows-security-epidemic-dont-run-as-an-administrator.html

Running as Administrator is like Arnie armed to the teeth, walking through a Nursery class - a friendly fire incident waiting to happen...

"I need Office / Photoshop to..."

I'm a computer nerd, and I'm over 40, with numerous offspring. That means I have one thing missing from my life....CASH! How many of you have come home from a hard days graft, only to have said offspring corner you in a manor not unlike that of the S.A.S on an embassy mission, brandishing requests for moolah faster than a Heckler & Koch MP5 machine pistol? Go on, raise your hands (those that are able too)...

We're over 40, and we're skint. So WHY OH WHY do we have to keep hearing this question?

"I've got a word document - I need Microsoft Word to open that - how much is it to buy - have you got a copy?" or "I've got a photograph to edit - I need Photoshop to edit it - how much is it, or have you got a copy I can borrow?"

Let's get one thing straight from the off. Yes, Microsoft created "Word", and Adobe currently own "Photoshop" and yes, they are good products - but you don't actually need them to open word documents, or photos - they are just the most popular programs used for word processing / graphics, mainly because they are used in business, where money is not really an object. They have become what's known as "the industry standard", which is company speak for "it works for us", and the file formats they use, are also the most commonly used.

But (and it's a very big but), there are other programs out there that we can use to edit word documents, or excel spreadsheets, or photographs, or anything you like - you just have to know where to find them. I'm going to introduce you to a new phrase, and that phrase is...

Open Source

Open Source is more of a movement, than a phrase. It's a philosophy for software creation. In short, it means that anyone can modify an existing Open Source program, provided the modifications (and the source code that has been changed) is made freely available, for nothing. Open Source is powerful, because it puts the power of software back into the hands of the users. You need something done - someone somewhere has probably already created that will do it for you, for nothing. Open Source has even given birth to Operating Systems, such as Linux! Open Source has lot's of success stories, and I'm going to introduce you to two of them.

LibreOffice is an Open Source competitor to Microsoft Office. It can create, edit and save office documents in many formats (including Microsoft Office) and even looks and feels the same to use, but it's completely free. My kids have used it for homework, and I've used it for business - why pay for Microsoft Office, when this exists?

The second success story is GIMP. GIMP stands for Gnu Image Manipulation Program, and is the nearest thing available to Photoshop that is free. It can manipulate photos, create stunning artwork, and 9 times out of 10, it can do everything photoshop can, for everyone up to the level of professional artists. I use it all of the time, in fact, the cartoons featured in this blog were adjusted by GIMP.

Do you (and your pocket) a favour. Before you get suckered into the big boys, look into Open Source alternatives - you won't be disappointed, and you'll save a ton. Right, time to open my copy of GIMP and create my next masterpiece - mega stardom, here I come...

"I went on this great site last night... and now I've got a virus/trojan!"

It's late at night. Creeping downstairs (so as not to disturb the wife), you slink into the living room, intent solely on your goal - a bit of late night surfing. Time to go on those sites that you know you shouldn't - like that one that Dave in Accounts sent you the link for. Surreptitiously, you enter in the website address, and click the enter key...

... Only to find that your computer has now spawned more windows than Everest, and is intent on letting the whole world know that you went on sheepsh*ggers.com - oh, and is that the sound of your beloved's sweet footfall on the stairs on her way to investigate what the scream of "NOOOOOOH!" was all about...

OK - for our third (and final) part of this article, were going to look at what to do if you suspect you have a virus or Trojan. The first question I'm often asked is "what's the difference?". Well, a virus is a program that is intent on replicating itself to other computers without the user's knowledge, in a similar way that a real virus infects your body, and passes itself on to the next person (like the flu). A Trojan (named after the famous wooden horse of Troy) is a virus that wants to do more than just replicate - it wants control of your computer for it's author's use, and by it's definition, a Trojan is more serious.

The first thing to do is to ascertain if your computer is infected. The best way to do this is also the best way to fix it, and by that, I mean "scan your computer for viruses". If you haven't already done so, install a anti-virus solution like AVG, and run a full scan for viruses. Once the scan has finished, you'll have the option of either quarantining the viruses found, or removing them from your computer - either is an acceptable solution.

Now that you've installed / run your anti-virus solution, make sure you keep it up to date by downloading the latest virus signatures - if you don't do this on a regular basis, all the hard work you just did will be undone very quickly, so check your anti-virus's documentation on how to keep up to date.

The next thing is to search your computer for Adware - these are programs that are not technically Trojans, but are the next best things - programs that want you to buy a product, by hijacking your PC and pointing you to the authors website. Because Adware is specialized, you'll need a specialized tool to deal with it - my favourite is SpyBot S&D, because it's thorough, and it works. Install it, update it, and run a full scan, then fix any errors it finds.

9 times out of 10 the above methods should sort you out. If they don't try looking at www.pchell.com - here you'll find lot's of useful information on viruses, Trojans, and other annoying PC specific problems that may be affecting you.

Right, I'm now off to disinfect my computer - with a blow-torch. You can't be too careful you know...

Safe browsing - it's like safe sex really...

As I don my White Coat for the second part of this subject, I liken myself to a sexual health worker (the white coat has a multitude of uses), trying to prevent the spread of STDs in a sexually permissive teenage society - it doesn't matter how many times you repeat the "Safe Browsing" message - some are still going to ignore you. However, we must try, so bend over dear reader...

Safe browsing of the Internet relies on several things:

• Keep your browser up to date
• Keep your computer up to date
• Consider a different browser
  
• Keep your anti-virus up to date
• Use a firewall
  
• Configure your browser properly
• Configure your computer properly
• Show restraint

The first two are no-brainers. Always try and keep your computer up to date with the latest patches, and do the same with your browser. For Windows, this usually means running Windows Update either automatically, or frequently. I'm not kidding when I say that new flaws in Windows are being found every day - for goodness sake, Microsoft even have an official day of the month - Patch Tuesday - where they release fixes for discovered vulnerabilities.

Internet Explorer is not the only browser out there. Many years ago, when Windows (and the Internet) were young, a browser software battle was fought, and Internet Explorer was the winner - not because it was the best, but because it was bundled with Windows, and because Windows had the biggest market share of computer operating systems. The problem however, is that Microsoft, in their infinite wisdom, choose to tie in the browser with the operating system, to the point where it had a dangerously high level of access to your computer - a situation that still exists. If you want safer browsing, one of the best ways is to change your browser to another, and for that, I recommend Mozilla Firefox. Not only is it quick, it is (by definition) safer (it's not tied to the operating system), and there are add-ons that actually make it even safer - it's NoScript add on for example, lets you control which scripts are allowed to run on your browser (stopping unallowed scripts is one of the best preventative measures for safe browsing I have ever seen).

Antivirus is not an option anymore - it's a requirement for Windows, to the point where Windows itself will let you know if you have no antivirus present (look out for a red circle with a cross in your system tray - dead give away). You don't have to spend a fortune though - most new computers come with Norton or McAfee pre-installed, which does cost, but you can uninstall these and use a free antivirus solution, such as AVG or Avast.

Using a firewall is a must. For those of you who don't know, a firewall protects your computer from being attacked directly by other computers. If you use a Router to access the Internet, rather than a ADSL modem, chances are you are already behind a firewall - check your router documentation. If not, it's a good idea to use at least the built in Windows Firewall, or if not, a separate solution like ZoneAlarm

Configuring your browser properly is just a case of making sure it can't do anything you don't want it too. That means...

• Not allowing pop-up windows
• Not installing unnecessary browser add-ons (such as search toolbars)
• Making sure the security options are not too lax

Most browsers these days have default settings that are quite good - again, look into the documentation for your browser for help if you think you may be at risk.

The hardest thing though to implement, is the last - showing restraint. Simply put, it means this...

• Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should.

This is rule of thumb #2, and it's a doozy. In short, as a user, you can go anywhere you want, install anything you want - but should you? That new file-sharing bit torrent client looks great... but do I really need it? What if it contains a virus? Ooh, Dave in accounts says that new site - "latinosheepsh*ggers.com" is fab - but what if it's a malicious website (come to think of it, what is Dave thinking about)... You get the idea. In the war against the Internet sharks, common sense is your greatest weapon.

In part 3, we'll discuss what to do if you think you have a trojan/virus. For now, I'm off for a scrub and hosedown...

"Is the Internet safe?"

Occasionally, I don the White Coat of Hope, and go onto the masses, in my ordained role of IT Support Reverend, and perform the sacred rite of FixemUp. On many of these occasions, my brethren will impart unto me their woes, and one of the most frequent woes is spoken thus:

"Is the Internet safe?"

In computing circles, this is almost an ecclesiastical question of the highest magnitude - it's like asking "Is their a God?", or more relevently "If I go swimming, will I be bitten by a shark?" Answers to this question have started heated debates ending in blood, tears, injury and lawsuits. Actually, the "shark" analogy is probably the most accurate - let me explain further...

The Internet is huge - take my word for it, it's like the Ocean. Finding what you're looking for is like swimming in the sea looking for a shipwreck of a pirate vessel loaded with gold dubloons - without maps or directions, you'd be lost, poor and wet. Search engines like Google then, are our friends, because they provide the maps for us to navigate the Internet ocean. Most of the time (as far as we are concerned), the sea is safe, and shark free.

However, as any diver, or watcher of Shark Week or Open Water will tell you, always lurking beneath the waves are the sharks - viruses, trojans, adware, phishing sites, porn - all swimming with you, but out of sight most of the time, but all hungry for blood. It's the foolish diver who starts throwing in bloody fish guts, just before he throws himself into the water... but in computing terms, the average user is doing this same thing every day. Lets look at the evidence...

• Most people that browse use Microsoft Windows (nothing wrong with that) - an operating system that is easy to use, but where the home user (by default) has ADMINSTRATIVE POWER - great news for the shark, as all he has to do is to trick the user into running a program that will let the shark in - tantamount to giving the shark the keys to your shark cage...
• Windows needs to be constantly updated to keep it secure - forget, and the sharks will sense blood. Trouble is, users have a habit of turning things off - like automatic updates. Forget to update, and that shark spear gun you were carrying will shoot you in the foot...
• Most people use Internet Explorer - the most well known, abused, insecure browser that exists - to access the Internet. Never mind giving the sharks the key to the shark cage - the shark is now on the boat, wearing life support, and carrying UZIs...

Add all these together, and you may as well be wearing a blood-soaked wet suit, with bloody, raw steak tied to your weights belt, banging a dinner gong and shouting "YOO-HOO SHARKIES - COME TO PAPA!" - Quinn would be turning in his grave I tell you...

However, you can take precautions, and swim safely - and in the next installment, we'll discuss how. I'm off to buy a bigger boat...

Recovery Disks - DO IT! DO IT NOW!!!

When you're over 40, you develop a sense of maturity. You've raised your children wisely and well (Stephanie is currently working towards her exams, whilst trying to hide the fact that she's six months pregnant: Tristan is doing well with his plastering diploma he's working towards at Borstal, and young Brendan - well, we're not sure but, well, you know...). You've worked solidly towards building a lovely home (despite that wet patch in the ceiling), and life seems good. You know that nothing phases you, because you're a mature, sensible adult.

And then you buy a computer. I don't know if it's genetics, old age, or sheer bloody-mindedness, but everything you've learned in the last 40+ years of your life, dissolves, Spielberg-like, into the middle distance. Notifications are ignored, warnings unheeded, as you continue further into computer nirvana - especially this really annoying one about recovery disks - right click, don't tell me again sunshine, I'm the one in charge...

Fast forward to now - it's late, and your computer has crashed - again! You look at the manual / talk to your tech guy / phone a friend, and they say...

"Hey, no problem - just use the Recovery Disks."

At this point, cats have been known to jump through closed windows, rather than face the tirade of abuse and possible life-threatening hurled missiles that follow that phrase - because you didn't create them, did you?

Back in the good old days, when you purchased a new computer, you were given a set of floppy disks / CD's which contained a full version of your operating system - this was when technical support actually cared - maybe because they weren't jaded by years of supporting 40+ users yet. Nowadays, in efforts to stop piracy and make your life harder, manufacturers seldom do this - instead, they give you the option of doing this yourself by creating your own set of recovery disks, using your DVD burner (this applies even if you haven't got a DVD burner i.e. if you have a netbook - "it's no excuse you know" your manufacturer will say...)

Do yourself the ultimate favour - create the recovery disks, because if your hard drive does fail, you may have to pay (yes, that's "PAY") to get a set from your manufacturer. There's no more bitter pill to swallow than that which costs you money - twice.

"My computer runs so slowly..."

Computers are like marriages. First comes the initial spark of true love, where your computer can do NOTHING wrong - it's fast, exciting, and makes you go weak at the knees. Then comes the wedding, where you shower it with gifts like new hard drives, better expansion options, a dedicated place to sit (a new IKEA desk, rather than that tatty old thing you used to use...)

But later comes the 7 month itch. Your computer has become slow, lethargic, and lazy. You yearn for the days when it used to want to dress up for you, wear provocative desktops, whisper sweet nulls in your ear, but now all you get is moaning...

"I'm running out of memory!"
"Stop pushing my buttons, I can only do one thing at a time!"
"Your email is in the recycle bin!"

Your eyes start wandering, and you start looking at the porno mags, like PC PRO... (taking the analogy a bit to far aren't we...Ed)

As any good marriage counselor will tell you, it's about give and take - that is, it's about what resources you have and what resources are actually required. For a computer to run programs quickly, it needs the following...

• Free memory
• Free processor cycles
• Non-fragmented disk space
• Fast access to hardware

Free memory is the single, most important thing you require, which is why it's usually the first thing that's upgraded. Computers need memory space to do anything - think of memory as paper sheets that you write on. Every time that you need to make a note, you get a fresh piece of paper, and you keep using fresh sheets because it's easier. That's great, but what happens when you run out of sheets - you've got nothing more to write on. "Oh dear, I can't write that note to dear Aunt Jessie..."

Computers have a way of getting around this, called paging. What that means is that instead of using physical memory chips for memory, it copies some of it's memory onto your hard disk, which is analogous to our paper sheets being placed into a filing cabinet, and more paper sheets (that we've erased with a pencil) being brought out from another filing cabinet. The problem with this process is that it's sloooooooooowwww, so instead of our filing cabinet being in the same room, it's actually in another room - in another house - in the sea - of tranquility - on the moon. Aunt Jessie's really going to get that note now...

In short then, paging too much is not a good thing. Not only is it slow, but the computer is wasting it's time - which is where processor cycles come in. A processor cycle is simply a unit of time that computer can use to do something constructive. New, modern computers have CPU's (Central Processor Units) that can perform an incredible number of operations (or cycles) every second, but those precious cycles are easily lost through wastage, so instead of doing something useful, they could be being used to display a screen saver, or play a tune, or download crap from sharing sites. It's important then that if you want your computer to run efficiently, you should always make sure that you are only running what you have to - the infamous rule of thumb #1.

We've mentioned fragmented disk space - this is relatively low on on the list, but it still applies in some cases. Remember our paper filing cabinet analogy? Well, when you were filing your paper sheets, you didn't care where you put them. They are all over the place, and whenever you want to find that note to Aunt Jessie, you have to search through several filing cabinets to find the sheets you need - that's fragmentation, and it happens to your hard disk. The older / more abused your computer gets, the more fragmented (and slower) your hard disk becomes. At this point, defragging your hard disk (essentially resorting the disk space) becomes a viable option, but DON'T SWITCH OFF WHILST YOU'RE DOING IT!!!!

Fast access to hardware basically means making sure your computer can talk to it's peripherals (like hard disks or DVD / optical drives) quickly, and is the last thing that *could* slow a computer down. It could be that you have the wrong driver for the peripheral, or that something else is hammering it whilst you're trying to use it.

With all this is mind, let's look at a couple of vict.. er, case studies. Mr. X came to me, complaining that his XP machine was slow - on examination, it turned out that his task tray (that's the little area on the bottom right of the windows desktop) had so many icons that it covered the entire taskbar! It seems Mr. X loved his gadgets, and had been trawling around the freeware sites looking for interesting ones, and then installing them - the trouble is that each one of these icons is a program that requires memory and processor cycles, so un-installing these programs made the machine responsive again.

Mrs. Y had a new laptop (less than 3 months old) that was so slow, it took 25 minutes to load! In this case, windows explorer had somehow been nobbled (possibly by a trojan, or a rogue game) to the point where the hard disk light was constantly on - a sure sign of excessive hard disk activity. In this case, the only thing to do was to recover the machine to a factory fresh state by using the recovery disks.

What's that? Recovery disks? Surely you know... ...Oh dear... **clickety-clickety..**

"Hey I've got a new computer - now what?"

Let's be honest with ourselves.

If you're over 40, you're a technophobe. You may not realize it yet, but admission of this simple fact is going to save you pain and suffering in the long run. TV remotes confuse us, to the point where when the battery runs low, we try and press the buttons harder, just to force that last erg of energy in the device into use by shear force of will. Microwaves mystify us, phones perplex us, and children's toys fascinate us - we're hopeless, and we've just gone and bought ourselves a piece of technology that we're not even sure we want (we only bought it because Dave in accounts has one, and he said it was the best thing since sliced bread...).

So, what do we do with it?

Firstly, let's identify the type of computer you have...

• Desktop - This is a computer which has a separate box, screen, keyboard & mouse. The Desktop is usually more powerful than other types of computer (depending on how much money you spent) and can be expanded (added to), but requires a dedicated area in the house (like a desk, or table)...
• Laptop - This computer has a screen and keyboard, connected by a hinge, clam shell style. It usually has most of the features of a desktop (DVD drive, card ports, USB ports) but is usually not as powerful.
• Notebook/ Net book - This computer looks like a very small laptop. It (usually) has no DVD drive, and is less powerful than the laptop. Net books are smaller than notebooks.

If your computer doesn't match any of the above, your either a very rich person (I hate you already) or you have a computer that was probably designed by DaVinci himself - either way, you're reading the wrong blog...

This is all what we term hardware - the physical bits of the machine. You also need software - a set of instructions for the computer that turn it from a piece of electronic junk, into something we can use (if temporarily). You have two types of software...

• Operating Systems - to use a computer for anything, we need a way of controlling it, and this is where the Operating System (or O/S) comes in. The Operating System controls the hardware, so getting the right Operating System for the level of hardware in your computer is vital - too powerful, and your computer will slow to a crawl, too weak, and you won't be able to use the computer for anything. Desktops tend to use "Premium" editions of Operating Systems (i.e. you pay more money for functionality that was included in the last release for free) where net books use "Home" editions (all the bits that you may actually find useful have been nobbled). Whatever you have it will probably be too powerful for your machine, as Computer companies tend to ship whatever flavour of O/S that is in season - not necessarily the one that runs the quickest/ does the most.
  
• Applications - Sometimes called Programs. Applications are software that allows us to perform a task, from word processing to web browsing, gaming to art. Again, if the software is too powerful for the machine, the machine will slow to a crawl...

As I come from a PC background, let's look at what's available for the PC in terms of O/S. Most people with a PC run a flavour of Microsoft Windows, and you are probably one of them. Currently, the flavour of the month is Windows 7, but your PC could also have one of it's predecessors, namely Windows Vista or Windows XP. All of these do the same job, but with differing levels of gimmickry. Desktops/laptops can run any of these, but net books/notebooks should be running Windows 7 or XP (they use less resources than Vista, and don't crash half as much). If you're not running Windows, you may be running a Linux or Apple based O/S - congratulations, as you may not have as many problems in the long run as your windows brethren.

As you see from the above, it's vitally important to get it right, but it's not rocket science. Here's the general rule of thumb when it comes to running applications...

• Net book / Notebook - Web browsing, word processing, social networking.
• Laptops - All the above, plus spreadsheets, art, music creation, light games
• Desktops - Almost anything

if you want your ownership of your computer to be as pain free as possible, remember the 1st rule...

"DON'T RUN MORE THAN YOU HAVE TOO"